Today I want to talk about self-care. No, no please don’t roll your eyes and leave. I want to talk about self-care because I suck at it! Seriously, who has time for that!?
This is one of those things that I beat myself up about. Everyone is always telling me to “take care of yourself or you won’t have anything left for the kids” and “you just need a little you time”. I roll my eyes and make jokes about sleeping when I’m dead and me time being a myth.
I think to myself how do these people have time for self-care when sometimes dry shampoo and a fresh layer of deodorant is my best friend?Self-care is obviously having it together enough to schedule big trips, expensive massages once a week, facials, spa trips, girl’s weekends or maybe a house cleaner! Yeah, I definitely don’t have the time or money for that!
My healthcare provider, God love her for her patience, is always asking me what I do for myself or how do I destress. And then we laugh and laugh because I usually ask her for a prescription for that. Well, at least I laugh, she probably gets sick of my antics! I understand the need for self-care, I do, but I almost always just roll my eyes and think I definitely don’t have time for one more thing.
But you know, the truth is that the more I think about it the more I think maybe I do do self-care. Maybe self-care isn’t some big defining trip to the beach where sunburns and drink choices are my only concerns. Oh man, that right there, that, is my pipe dream! Maybe self-care is that trip to the grocery store alone. Maybe self-care is finally getting my eyebrows waxed by a professional! Maybe self-care is sticking to a regular bedtime for the kids so that I have just a minute to do whatever I want and that doesn’t include dishes and laundry. No one actually wants that!
You see, taking care of yourself can be done in small doses. You can squeeze in a chapter of that book while waiting at the doctor’s office. You can text that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with while waiting in the school parking lot. You can slather on the “stress relief” hand lotion you keep in your desk at work and pray that it really is a magic potion. You can take a walk instead of diving down that endless Pinterest rabbit hole. Or maybe that particular rabbit hole is your self-care!
I don’t believe that self-care has to be a tangible thing that you discuss with your friends “ya’ll I took a personal day and got my hair done”! If you have time for that great! If you find yourself frazzled, crazy and rocking three day old hair that’s riddled with dry shampoo and a cup of tea is the best you can do then do that! And if the second person is you then we are destined to be friends!
Self-care is being mindful of our emotional and physical states and doing things to help ourselves breathe for a hot minute.Self-care is grace. Self-care is drowning out that negative self-talk with music. Self-care is Netflix bingeing and warm baths just as much as it is long runs and kidless vacations.
I’m going to make a mental list of all the things I do, and I hope you do too, so that when people ask when was the last time I had a minute to myself I don’t cackle like a crazy banshee and make a joke…. because, I don’t know! I’m going to enjoy that cup of tea and that text and give myself grace. But you better believe the beach and tropical drinks is still going to be my pie in the sky dream!